April 7

Omar wants to call this entry "Southern Discomfort." Please allow him to elaborate:

"it was a dark and stormy toilet - at least after I finished it was. After starting the trek back to NYC from the hotel this morning, we decided to eat another meal at the Waffle House, a staple of commercialized southern food more popular than IHOP. I had 2 scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, bacon strips, and a waffle. I later had serious digestive troubles - a direct cause of the southern comfort food which left me in southern discomfort. About an hour after finishing our meal and resuming the drive back to NYC, I had to get off I-95 to make a pit(iful) stop. I ran into a Pizza Hut restroom and pulled down my drawers as fast as possible only to discover that my discomfort was most likely a false alarm caused by seriously putrid gas. My hopes of a false alarm were quickly debunked as a couple of inquisitive bowel pushes resulted in a small brown leak. I decided to give a full fledged "ummmmphfff!" which led to a massive explosion of enormous proportions.

10 minutes later, my ass is still spewing liquids, the subsequent gas is filling the air with an acrid aroma, and my stomach isnt feeling any better. A handful of other men walked in the bathroom, and quickly used it and left, no doubt because of the putrid smell engulfing the room. At some point, a father walked in with a couple of young kids. One immediately said, "eeeewwww", and the other said "egggh!!" The father tried to hush them up, but the damage was done. To their brains, that is, from breathing in my disfiguring fumes.

In the end, the excruciating excrement took its toll on my body and left me battered, but unbroken. I cleaned up and hobbled out of the Pizza Hut to continue the journey. I shall survive."

On a completely different note, Maxie didn't perform as expected at the Easter Biscuit Hunt. He wasn't into the gourmet dog treat, so we basically had to pick up the cellophane wrapped doggie cookies and napoleons ourselves . Now, if there was a contest to hunt for discarded chicken bones on the street, we would have in our hands a champion!!!